zenjones

Feeling sorry for myself. It’s one of my things. It annoys me no end and it’s lead to some unwise decisions.

So today I will just notice it. Thanks to PP, I’ve got a little more distance. I can say, “It is feeling sorry for itself.”

So a couple people asked me for help… Actually I think I offered. So am I setting myself up for martyrdom?

No, don’t intellectualize. Just notice thoughts and feelings.

This morning I got angry at the computer, and, by extension, my husband. I am dependent on him for my tech needs. He’s really good at it–it’s such a luxury to have an expert system administrator…for example, I’m writing this on a bus in Chinatown! But I get so angry when tech things don’t work. What is the fear? This morning I was getting ready for a meeting, and it took longer than I’d planned to print out my notes. So I might be late for the meeting, and then the people I’m meeting with will notice that I’m incmpetent. Oh, it must be that worthless fear.

Again.