zenjones

I went to the San Francisco Zen Center to sit early in the morning. I would have walked, but my husband was concerned about me walking alone in the dark through what he considered dangerous neighborhoods, so I called an Uber. It seemed to go against my ideas of Zen and simplicity, but it was actually very simple, so I didn’t worry too much.

There was a young student at the door, standing straight and respectfully, ready to direct newcomers. He was helpful and friendly. The first thing I did was step on the mat before the shoe rack while still in my shoes. I looked up to see a sign saying, “Please remove shoes before you step on the mat.” So immediately I was thrown into beginner’s mind.

I entered the Zendo left foot first, as the the young student had told me. He’d also told me to sit on any spot that didn’t have a plaque, but it was dark and I couldn’t see any plaques at all. I’m sure my posture was one of confusion and a literal helping hand came out of the dark to indicate a free pillow. I was relieved and grateful. I plunked down and was immediately comfortable in the silence. There was that familiar smell of oryoki bowls on the third day of sesshin. The sound of people getting comfortable on their pillows. Also the sound of a wooden hammer banging on a wooden block. I recognized it from our closing ceremony. The banging did not seem to have any rhythm or reason for the changes in loudness. Then there were bells and I sensed teachers in robes walking by.

And then I got that nose itch. It felt like a piece of fluff was sitting right inside my nostril. It made my eye water. I remembered getting these itches when I was a new student. No one around me was moving at all, so I determined to sit there and wait out the itch. I started in with my three-breaths practice and eventually it faded away.

The sitting period was longer than at ZCSD, but it seemed to go by quickly. The sun rose while we sat, and made its way into the room at the edges of the blinds that covered the windows. It was more a feeling of sunlight than actually seeing sunlight.

A bell rang and the people next to me put something on their heads. There was some chanting and then we stood. We processed out. I noticed about half the people wore full-length robes. As I walked out, I saw Roni, whom I’d planned to meet here. It was like a breath from home.

We walked upstairs to the service in the Buddha Room. There was more fumbling by me about where to sit. Bowing, which felt familiar, though the people around me did not lift their hands. The chanting of the ancestors names was really fun, as was the endings of the chants which taper off in a one note slow beat.

And then it was over and I thought I would go back again. It was a good way to start practice period.