zenjones

I went to breakfast yesterday with a close girlfriend and her 8-year-old daughter. My girlfriend’s sister was also with us. They flew in from out of town to visit me and attend the Harvest Fair and have a “girls’ weekend.”Â

It was very interesting because culturally and politically my GF is halfway between her sister and me. Her sister is conservative, blue-collar, rural. I’m liberal, intellectual, and urban. Both my GF and her sister are Christians, though I have always considered my friend tolerant and practical (she was an atheist when I met her and told me that she has chosen church because her husband was raised that way and she thinks it’s a good way to instill moral values in her children).

My friend was talking about a book she’d read called “Eat. Pray. Love.” She’d told me before about how much she loved this book. She brought it up right after I’d mentioned (because she’d asked) that I was attending a zen retreat next weekend. But to the description and praise she’d recounted to me, she added that, “It was the first time I’d read about meditation that wasn’t totally wacky or completely non-sensical.”

I was surprised at her characterization, but sort of on to the next thing.

It wasn’t ’til later that I thought to say, “Yeah, asking your imaginary supernatural friend for material goods is so logical and makes so much sense.”

I wonder why my defenses didn’t come up until some time later? I realized I was very angry and considered for a moment if this friend and I might be done. I’m guessing that she was trying to make her sister feel less uncomfortable with this wacky and non-sensical friend of hers. But still…

I’m off to meet them at the Snoopy Museum. I’m aware of feeling closed-up a little, a little tension around my shoulders and back. I will be more careful—and that’s not necessarily what I want. I liked it yesterday before my defenses came up. I was loose and happy to see my friend and goof off with her daughter. So I’m not going to try to fix this or anything, but I’m just going to try to be aware of it.

And also to be aware of my own judgements about people, especially religion.