zenjones

I can see my neighbor Kate lying in her hammock reading. It’s a hot summer day, and she’s in the deep shade of her little sycamore grove. It looks idyllic. While I’m up here slaving away, grumble grumble.

But actually, she might be not feeling so idyllic. I’ve learned that what you look like on the outside has no relation to what you feel like on the inside. This same neighbor sees me meditate in my front room early in the morning, and she thinks I’m all peaceful and at one with the world. Hah! Half the time I’m planning something just to keep from being present. The other half the time I’m either (1) doing the dual awareness meditation, or (2) forgetting to do the dual awareness meditation, or (3) bringing myself back to the dual awareness meditation with this promise, “Just take three breaths, then you can go back to planning snacks for your nephew and niece when they get here next month.”

Still, I look at these images of meditators and I think, “I want to be like them!” assuming they are always present. But maybe they are planning snacks for their guests? And maybe this is a good time to practice with expectations.