{"id":91,"date":"2008-12-26T06:44:13","date_gmt":"2008-12-26T14:44:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/?p=91"},"modified":"2008-12-26T06:44:13","modified_gmt":"2008-12-26T14:44:13","slug":"getting-ready-for-sesshin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/?p=91","title":{"rendered":"Getting ready for sesshin"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/zenjones.canyonlink.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/12\/61ibgoxibxl_bo2204203200_pisitb-sticker-arrow-clicktopright35-76_aa240_sh20_ou01_.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-92\" style=\"margin: 10px;\" title=\"61ibgoxibxl_bo2204203200_pisitb-sticker-arrow-clicktopright35-76_aa240_sh20_ou01_\" src=\"http:\/\/zenjones.canyonlink.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/12\/61ibgoxibxl_bo2204203200_pisitb-sticker-arrow-clicktopright35-76_aa240_sh20_ou01_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"202\" \/><\/a>Yesterday, Christmas day, I was completely preoccupied with dread of this sesshin. I could not be present in the way I thought I should be, so I had to be present in the only way possible: with what was. I castigated myself, I judged myself and my husband, I tried to find reasons to become angry, I read obsessisively, I planned and fretted. There was a moment, in the evening, as my husband and I sat on the couch and listened to Maya Angelou read &#8220;Amazing Peace,&#8221; a Christmas poem. For a moment I realized that this was it, this was peace.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/zenjones.canyonlink.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/12\/83642629.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-94 alignright\" style=\"margin: 10px;\" title=\"83642629\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/12\/83642629-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/12\/83642629-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/12\/83642629.jpg 253w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" \/><\/a>This morning I am entering into sesshin, even though I haven&#8217;t left the house. I am noticing my nervousness. I am being very careful with my preparations\u00e2\u20ac\u201dwith blow-drying my hair, shaving my legs. Tomorrow I will wake after a night on the floor with no shower in sight, my hair stuck in silly mode, intent only on being present. But today I cling to my identity out here, and to the fact that I can slip back into that identity in a week.<\/p>\n<p>So I will struggle not to have expectations, and all the other million and one struggles that are practice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Yesterday, Christmas day, I was completely preoccupied with dread of this sesshin. I could not be present in the way I thought I should be, so I had to be present in the only way possible: with what was. I castigated myself, I judged myself and my husband, I tried to find reasons to become [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-91","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=91"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=91"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=91"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=91"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}