{"id":37,"date":"2007-10-04T16:26:58","date_gmt":"2007-10-05T00:26:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net?p=37"},"modified":"2007-10-04T16:26:58","modified_gmt":"2007-10-05T00:26:58","slug":"let-down","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/?p=37","title":{"rendered":"Let Down"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"dramamask.jpg\"<\/a>I chose the job in San Francisco.<\/p>\n

And now that I’ve chosen, that little anxiety buzz that kept me inflated has seeped out and I’m sad and tired. I mean, I’m happy about the job. It’s a good job and I’m looking forward to starting.<\/p>\n

But with saying yes to that, I had to say no to the cool job in Boston, and good-bye to my women-in-business group today, and good-bye, really good-bye to the dream of my agency in Healdsburg. I mean, of course I said good-bye to that in April. But now it’s really real.<\/p>\n

I thought that once I’d decided, life would be a round of happy excitement. And planning, wonderful planning. But my practice period awareness exercise\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u20ac\u009dthat one of noticing my planning behavior\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u20ac\u009dseems to have taken that away from me. In fact, my husband is planning like mad, and I’m reading it as an indication of his own slight anxiousness.<\/p>\n

We had a great group meeting on Wednesday. We talked about forgiveness, and it was so interesting, everyone’s different take. I had a really classic forgiveness experience earlier this summer. I printed out Ezra’s forgiveness meditation (from At Home in the Muddy Water<\/em>) and made it part of my daily meditation for a few weeks. After 4 days, I noticed a little shift in my resistance; and after a couple weeks I felt pretty good about it. Good enough that I noticed when that resistance came up again and I pulled out my crib sheet.<\/p>\n

I feel very good to know that I have that crib sheet. That I have a group like ours where I can go and talk about these very important subjects that don’t seem to get discussed anywhere else. Thank you all. I’d say I’m sorry that I won’t be able to attend Wednesday night sittings anymore, but I didn’t really go all that much. However, I’ll still be around on weekends. And I’ll be updating the website!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I chose the job in San Francisco. And now that I’ve chosen, that little anxiety buzz that kept me inflated has seeped out and I’m sad and tired. I mean, I’m happy about the job. It’s a good job and I’m looking forward to starting. But with saying yes to that, I had to say […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}