{"id":244,"date":"2009-10-23T16:53:39","date_gmt":"2009-10-24T00:53:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/?p=244"},"modified":"2009-10-23T16:53:39","modified_gmt":"2009-10-24T00:53:39","slug":"most-believed-thought","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/?p=244","title":{"rendered":"“most believed thought”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"believer3\"I am so in love with this phrase.<\/p>\n

At least twice last night, it showed me my fears. Which is my goal!<\/p>\n

One time, I was waiting for my husband to call. I have a most believed thought that “He’s always late.” So, I rush home, and wait by the phone. 15 minutes go by. I’m heating up.<\/p>\n

It has been thus for 16 years. About 10 years ago, I pretty much stopped reacting. But still, I’d steam. I also got curious about it. I explored some other thoughts: my father thought people who were late were trying to bolster their self-image (“See, I’m so important that I can treat people rudely and they’ll still wait for me”). That doesn’t sound like my husband at all. He’s more the absent-minded professor-type.<\/p>\n

But last night, I noticed myself getting agitated, some tension in my neck and around my mouth. I was all confused, too, about what to do, how I should feel\u00e2\u20ac\u201da sure sign that something is going on.<\/p>\n

So I asked myself, “What is my most believed thought?” And I realized that it was, “I am not worth treating respectfully.” Even now, just writing that, gives me a little thrill of anger, shame, and sadness. I am worthless. One of my most painful believed thoughts.<\/p>\n

Er, where was I?<\/p>\n

Oh, yes, I just love “what is my most believed thought?” Because after I experience those sensations, after I recognize what it is, I can remember that “most believed thoughts” are just that: thoughts. They are not this: the truth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am so in love with this phrase. At least twice last night, it showed me my fears. Which is my goal! One time, I was waiting for my husband to call. I have a most believed thought that “He’s always late.” So, I rush home, and wait by the phone. 15 minutes go by. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-244","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fear","category-practice-period"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=244"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=244"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=244"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenjones.bravoecho.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=244"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}